Quotes added by BartG :: tagged "funny" (best)

Utaha Kasumigaoka: You can try to deliver cool lines while in Cowgirl position, but it will still look, you know...

Zenigata: Stop this wedding!
Rebecca: Who is that, your boyfriend?!
Lupin: Of course not!

Keiki Kiryu: I'm on a date with such a cute girl... Maybe tomorrow is the day I die.

Yuika Koga: Big breasts are the bane of existence for all flat-chested girls.

Tomoya: What are you doing here, Utaha-senpai?
Utaha: Because I had zero screen time in the last episode, obviously.

Keiki: Your breasts are touching!
Sayuki: That's not significant.
Keiki: I disagree, your breasts are quite significant...

Jet Black: That's really unique, Faye. That a mughshot or your version of Picasso?

Hatsuka: You talk tough and make dirty jokes because you don't know how to be honest about your feelings.
Nazuna: That's... not it... The truth is... I love dirty jokes!!
Hatsuka: Not the big confession I was hoping for...

Spike: 'Scuse me, Jet.
Jet: What?
Spike: You said three, not four.
Jet: Disinformation is sometimes required for both enemies and allies.
Spike: Don't pull that "Art of War" crap on me!

Jet: There they are. Nanomachines.
Spike: Nanomachines?
Faye: Oh...
Spike: You know about them?
Faye: Not at all.

Yousuke Shibazaki: A man who chooses Sega console cannot live an ordinary life.

Kazami: Do you know what, I don't think I've ever seen you make a mistake.
Rei: Of course I have. For example... like that time, uh...
Kazami: Forget it.

Dutch: I don't believe it. My head's still attached. Even my shades are okay. Amen Hallelujah peanut butter.

Minami Toba: Rum goes better with hot cocoa than you'd think.

Revy: Bao was steaming like a tea kettle. Said we better cover him for the mess or else he won't let us back in and he'll weld our assholes shut.
Dutch: Assholes, huh? Teardrop in my eye.

Richard: Forget about him! Detectives are good-for-nothings!!
Rachel: But, dad, you're a detective!

Meguire: Hey, why are we telling him the details of this case?
Wilder: Sorry, force of habit...

Ko Yamori: This girl—yeah, okay, vampire—teaches me how to have fun all night long. She loves to cracks jokes about sex. I don't know much about fun, night or sex, so I'm kind of at a disadvantage.

Ena: Chikuwa, I have a treat for youuu! C'mere. It's sausage.
Nadeshiko: Oh, he came out!!
Ena: Nadeshiko-chan, hold this.
Nadeshiko: Huh?
Ena: Now run!!
Nadeshiko: Huh? Huh?! Okay!!
(Nadeshiko runs, Chikuwa right behind her)
Ena: It's survival of the fittest, Nadeshiko-chan.

Amy: For our next activity, let's search that mysterious house on Block 2!
George: You mean the place next door to Doc Agasa's?
Mitch: Rumor has it that it's haunted!
Conan: Nooo! That's my house!

Yumi: Hey! Enough about my ex!!
Conan: Nobody asked you for the details...

Ko: I like that one...
Nazuna: Well, duh. Look at her boobs.
Ko: Can you please stop saying "boobs"?
Nazuna: Is that what you're into, Ko? Nice, shy girls with giant bazongas?
Ko: Would it kill you to just say "breasts"?
Nazuna: That wouldn't sound very hot.

Matsuri Kazamaki: There's no way someone would confess their love with a mouthful of sweet potato.

Richard: A case is calling me...! Never fear. The great private investigator Richard Moore will look everything over!!
Rachel: "Will overlook everything" is more like it...

Ko: But school is such a drag...
Akira: You even want to skip school in a game?!

Shirogane: Don't make out at a shrine!

Nagi: I thought neither of you were going to eat.
Sachi: Well, I'm not going to say no to food.
Erika: And my job is to eat.

Asahi: Big boobs or small boobs. Which do you prefer?
Uryu: That's not the kind of thing you just ask someone... And I... I mean, I don't really care...
Asahi: So what I'm hearing is, as long as they're boobs, you love 'em regardless of the size. What a greedy boy.
Uryu: That's not even close to what I said.

Kogorou: A case is callign for me... The great detective Mouri Kogorou!!
Ran: Not "great", but more like "confused"...

Kogorou: Let 'im go! You know there ain't no such thing as a normal detective!!
Ran: You're a detective, aren't you?