Quotes tagged with "funny" (most popular)

Hatsuka: You talk tough and make dirty jokes because you don't know how to be honest about your feelings.
Nazuna: That's... not it... The truth is... I love dirty jokes!!
Hatsuka: Not the big confession I was hoping for...

Himeno: To be honest with you, everybody's getting pretty worn down.
[...]
Power: I'm bored, so I was thinking up a Nobel Prizewinning invention! If I win a Nobel Prize, humans will grovel before me! And then I'll use my Nobel Prize as a steppingstone to become prime minister! I want to watch humans suffer... So my first act as prime minister will be to implement a 100 percent sales tax!
Denji: She seems the same as always to me.
Himeno: Oh. That's... good then.

Master Roshi: A couple billion Zeni...?! Even if I went to a strip club everyday, I wonder just how many years it would take to use it all up...

Japan: They say Italian tanks can advance sixty kilometers a week on the battlefield, but after spotting English troops, they can retreat sixty kilometers in a single day.

Bulma: If you're a god, don't get mad over a little pudding, idiot!

Son Gokū: Man, you're just as stubborn as Vegeta!

Shinpachi: Uh, Gin? What was that about? How could you screw up the end of the opening sequence?
Gintoki: Don't blame me. There's bound to be a mishap when you do the same thing 23 times in a row.
Kagura: I thought the opening was reused every time.

Bulma: Where did you go?
Son Gokū: Rabbits belong on the moon, of course!

Kagura: Might as well skip the effort and reuse footage for the movie itself. Toss in a few new scenes and you'll fool them all.
Shinpachi: That won't work!
Gintoki: Really? Most of Sunrise's movies are recompilations.

Takagi: Are you saying I have no sense for writing gags?
Kaya: Hm... Well, your face is kinda funny.

Excalibur: Number 75: Excalibur's birthday is to be celebrated grandly.
Hiro: When's your birthday?
Excalibur: Everyday!

Gildarts: Wait a second! You're...
Cana: I know it's a lot to just accept...
Gildarts: Whose kid are you? Sara? Naomi? Claire? Feena? Mary? Eliza? No, no... The hair color's off... Emma, Lyra, Jean, Sydney, Kate, Yuko, Francoise...
Cana: You old geezer! How many flings have you had?!
Gildarts: I-I know! You're the spitting image of Sylvia! Like, you're the same sex!

Mai: The man whose face strikes fear in the hearts of even the worst evildoers!
Shu: Robbery! Tattle-telling! Speeding! Blackmail! Stealing other people's food!
Mai: He'll do anything if it's for money!
Shu: His name: Mister Pilaf Daimao!

Shinigami: Since I'm wearing a mask, Justin can't read my lips, can he? Can you repeat what I say from now on, please?
Spirit: Why do I have to do something so troublesome? It's fine if he takes the earphones off, right?
Shinigami: Okay! Repeat after me!

Komui Lee: It wasn't Komurin's fault. It was the coffee. Hate the sin, not the sinner. Hate the coffee not the Komurin

Mjolnir Marie: I'm... going to marry the toilet. Don't you see? The toilet will accept anything I do!

Kyōsuke Kōsaka: So, when you're dating a girl, um... Starting when is it okay to touch her boobs?

Yūko: You saw everything... You saw the innermost places of my body...
Teiichi: Embarrassing? Aren't these just bones?
Yūko: This is the ultimate state of nakedness!

Sakamichi Onoda: I'm going on my bike! Because... Because... on a bike... I can go to Akiba for free. I can buy five extra capsule toys with the money I save!

Mashiro: Why did you give me milk instead of tea? Are you looking down on me because I'm a child?
Kobeni: I just thought it would be better than tea or coffee. You don't like it?
Mashiro: No, it's my favorite!

Kuroneko: Do you want to touch them?
Kyōsuke: Well...
Kuroneko: I see... I'm not mad... much... Because... I'm the same.
Kyōsuke: You want to touch my boobs, too?

Vegeta: Back then I definitely exceeded you!
Goku: Yeah, without a doubt! Next time when we're fighting someone strong, I'll ask them to hit Bulma!

Beerus: His singing and dancing were both terrible. He'd be a fair match for you, Whis.

Tai Pai Pai: You sure think highly of yourself for a cat...!
Karin: You sure think highly of yourself for an assassin...

Beerus: Whis, how long will it take to get there?
Whis: Roughly 26 minutes.
Beerus: About the length of an episode of TV anime, huh?

Saitama: Genos, your joints are all bent the wrong way. Here, I'll fix you up. Oh sorry, your arm came off.

Kami: Son. You were trained by an exceptional master.
Gokū: Though he is a little perverted.

Yomi Isayama: To a big sister, a little sister is the same as a lackey!

Vegeta: When I was on Earth, I learned something interesting from them.
Cui: What, how to run away quickly?

Konata: Oh, wait, I'm being paged. Hold on. ... He scolded me for talking too long on the phone.
Kagami: Oh, sorry. I thought your house was rather laid-back with that stuff. But is it actually pretty strict?
Konata: No, we're in the middle of a fighter-game match.

Konata Izumi: I remember jotting memos on my notes earlier during class, because I thought I needed to remember it, since it was important, but since I was half asleep, I don't know what I wrote down.

Misato Katsuragi: This is your home so feel free to take advantage of everything that's here, except of course of me that is.

Kagura: Kintama!
Shinpachi: Kagura-chan, girls shouldn't say that word.
Kagura: Okay then, how about golden ball?
Shinpachi: That's not good either.

Olivier Poplin: The entire population of the human race is 40 billion. And half of it is women. Even considering that half of that won't pass the age limit and a further half of that will fail on the account of their looks, there still are 5 billion that are potential targets of my romance. I can't waste even one second.

Aoi Ashito: I don't need tactics. Or rather, I am the tactic.

Mr. Satan: Hey, you there!
Dr. Brief: Yes?
Mr. Satan: Quit slacking off and get me some booze. You can have my autograph later as payment.

Komatsu: Something's there... Z-Zombie-san?
Zonge: It's not Zombie, it's Zonge-sama!
[...]
Komatsu: Good job making it out of there alive. Or are you really a zombie...?

Kaguya: This is Shinomiya. President, is that you?
Shirogane's father: I'm Miyuki's father.
Kaguya: Um, is the president... I mean, is Shirogane there?
Shirogane's father: I am Shirogane.

Kagura: Where's Gin-chan? Is Gin-chan still asleep? Shall I wake him up?
Shinpachi: No, never mind. Gin-san's in kanashibari.
Kagura: Kanashibari? What is kanashibari?
Shinpachi: It's a ghost paralysis. You're awake, but your body can't move. It's a very convenient state for the animators.
Kagura: Convenient?
Shinpachi: Seems all the anime staff are taking a trip to Kinugawa Hot Spa, so they were talking about creating a 30-minute "Gin-san Meets Ghost Paralysis" episode.

Monkey D. Luffy: She said she was gonna destroy Fishman Island because you don't have any candy! She's nuts! I mean, I could understand if it was meat! Right?! But relax! I said I'd fight back!