Quotes tagged with "funny" (most popular)

Hatsuka: You talk tough and make dirty jokes because you don't know how to be honest about your feelings.
Nazuna: That's... not it... The truth is... I love dirty jokes!!
Hatsuka: Not the big confession I was hoping for...

Master Roshi: A couple billion Zeni...?! Even if I went to a strip club everyday, I wonder just how many years it would take to use it all up...

Bulma: If you're a god, don't get mad over a little pudding, idiot!

Son Gokū: Man, you're just as stubborn as Vegeta!

Japan: They say Italian tanks can advance sixty kilometers a week on the battlefield, but after spotting English troops, they can retreat sixty kilometers in a single day.

Himeno: To be honest with you, everybody's getting pretty worn down.
[...]
Power: I'm bored, so I was thinking up a Nobel Prizewinning invention! If I win a Nobel Prize, humans will grovel before me! And then I'll use my Nobel Prize as a steppingstone to become prime minister! I want to watch humans suffer... So my first act as prime minister will be to implement a 100 percent sales tax!
Denji: She seems the same as always to me.
Himeno: Oh. That's... good then.

Bulma: Where did you go?
Son Gokū: Rabbits belong on the moon, of course!

Tai Pai Pai: You sure think highly of yourself for a cat...!
Karin: You sure think highly of yourself for an assassin...

Beerus: His singing and dancing were both terrible. He'd be a fair match for you, Whis.

Vegeta: Back then I definitely exceeded you!
Goku: Yeah, without a doubt! Next time when we're fighting someone strong, I'll ask them to hit Bulma!

Shinpachi: Uh, Gin? What was that about? How could you screw up the end of the opening sequence?
Gintoki: Don't blame me. There's bound to be a mishap when you do the same thing 23 times in a row.
Kagura: I thought the opening was reused every time.

Vegeta: When I was on Earth, I learned something interesting from them.
Cui: What, how to run away quickly?

Kami: Son. You were trained by an exceptional master.
Gokū: Though he is a little perverted.

Konata: Oh, wait, I'm being paged. Hold on. ... He scolded me for talking too long on the phone.
Kagami: Oh, sorry. I thought your house was rather laid-back with that stuff. But is it actually pretty strict?
Konata: No, we're in the middle of a fighter-game match.

Konata Izumi: I remember jotting memos on my notes earlier during class, because I thought I needed to remember it, since it was important, but since I was half asleep, I don't know what I wrote down.

Monkey D. Luffy: She said she was gonna destroy Fishman Island because you don't have any candy! She's nuts! I mean, I could understand if it was meat! Right?! But relax! I said I'd fight back!

Kagura: Kintama!
Shinpachi: Kagura-chan, girls shouldn't say that word.
Kagura: Okay then, how about golden ball?
Shinpachi: That's not good either.

Excalibur: Number 75: Excalibur's birthday is to be celebrated grandly.
Hiro: When's your birthday?
Excalibur: Everyday!

Gildarts: Wait a second! You're...
Cana: I know it's a lot to just accept...
Gildarts: Whose kid are you? Sara? Naomi? Claire? Feena? Mary? Eliza? No, no... The hair color's off... Emma, Lyra, Jean, Sydney, Kate, Yuko, Francoise...
Cana: You old geezer! How many flings have you had?!
Gildarts: I-I know! You're the spitting image of Sylvia! Like, you're the same sex!

Mr. Satan: Hey, you there!
Dr. Brief: Yes?
Mr. Satan: Quit slacking off and get me some booze. You can have my autograph later as payment.

Jaken: I want to shrink away every time we're attacked.
Rin: If you shrink any more, you'll disappear, Master Jaken.

Beerus: Whis, how long will it take to get there?
Whis: Roughly 26 minutes.
Beerus: About the length of an episode of TV anime, huh?

Komatsu: Something's there... Z-Zombie-san?
Zonge: It's not Zombie, it's Zonge-sama!
[...]
Komatsu: Good job making it out of there alive. Or are you really a zombie...?

Mutta Nanba: First, you see the big guy over there? He's athletic, with plenty of muscle, as you can see. He likes to act cool and play the tough guy. However... His cell phone wallpaper is a cat.

Hachiman Hikigaya: Well, worst case, I get serious. When I get serious, groveling and even boot licking is no problem.

Mai: The man whose face strikes fear in the hearts of even the worst evildoers!
Shu: Robbery! Tattle-telling! Speeding! Blackmail! Stealing other people's food!
Mai: He'll do anything if it's for money!
Shu: His name: Mister Pilaf Daimao!

Takagi: Are you saying I have no sense for writing gags?
Kaya: Hm... Well, your face is kinda funny.

Misato Katsuragi: This is your home so feel free to take advantage of everything that's here, except of course of me that is.

Kagura: Might as well skip the effort and reuse footage for the movie itself. Toss in a few new scenes and you'll fool them all.
Shinpachi: That won't work!
Gintoki: Really? Most of Sunrise's movies are recompilations.

Miroku: On the way over here I thought of a strategy to keep the demon from choosing you all as brides. The demon only chooses single girls. In that case... Miss? Will you have my baby? Then the demon won't want you!

Komui Lee: It wasn't Komurin's fault. It was the coffee. Hate the sin, not the sinner. Hate the coffee not the Komurin

Kagura: Where's Gin-chan? Is Gin-chan still asleep? Shall I wake him up?
Shinpachi: No, never mind. Gin-san's in kanashibari.
Kagura: Kanashibari? What is kanashibari?
Shinpachi: It's a ghost paralysis. You're awake, but your body can't move. It's a very convenient state for the animators.
Kagura: Convenient?
Shinpachi: Seems all the anime staff are taking a trip to Kinugawa Hot Spa, so they were talking about creating a 30-minute "Gin-san Meets Ghost Paralysis" episode.

Tae Shimura: The most dangerous moment in hunting is the moment you've captured your prey. The bigger the prey, the more you let your guard down. Go read "Hunter x Hunter" volume 3, before you try and take us on, old hags.

Olivier Poplin: Damn it's hard to get a man's clothes off, and there's no reward either.

Hachiman Hikigaya: Hey! I'm really grown up! I grumble, I tell filthy lies, I do underhanded things...

Olivier Poplin: The entire population of the human race is 40 billion. And half of it is women. Even considering that half of that won't pass the age limit and a further half of that will fail on the account of their looks, there still are 5 billion that are potential targets of my romance. I can't waste even one second.

Shinigami: You know nothing about my suffering!
Gintoki: I can pretty much guess. You couldn't learn Bankai or something, right?

Turtle Hermit: Shall I take a look at her?
Son Gohan: Can you help her, Turtle Hermit?
Turtle Hermit: I'll give her CPR!

Hachiman Hikigaya: Well, they say the kanji for "people" is two people supporting each other. But did you ever notice one side is leaning on the other? I believe the acceptance of sacrificing someone is the whole idea behind "people".

Narrator: These two are on the same team as Hinata and... Well, they're pretty minor characters, so that's about it.