Quotes tagged with "funny" (by release date)

Dororo: If I take two and give three to Bro, that's no fun for me. But I'd feel bad for Bro giving him two while taking three for myself. Honestly, five is such an inconvenient number. In the end, it's best if I just eat them all myself.

Student: I hate violence! I'm a follower of Gandhi!
Akira: I don't give a damn if it's "Gandhi" or "candy"! I don't like your face, so it's time for some homemade plastic surgery!

Kazuya: You missed my face that badly? Okay, have a good look!
Nana: You've got a pimple!

Kenta: Hey! How's it hanging, Auntie? You've gotten bigger since I last saw you!
Okane: Idiot! That's my line!

Ataru: Lum, summon your UFO! Just let him get a glance of your UFO!
Lum: UFO, come on down!
Ataru: Well, teacher? This is Lum's UFO. Do you think that an Earthbeing would have such a thing?
Hanawa: I'm not well-read on the topic but is not "UFO" supposed to be...
Shutaro: Unidentified flying object. That's what it stands for, in other words.
Hanawa: ... Mister Moroboshi, you are mistaken. Since that thing is already identified as Lum's, it is not an unidentified flying object. In short, it cannot be called a UFO.

Cherry: What kind of work do you want?
Ataru: I won't ask for much, just ¥10,000 an hour, lots of fun, and something not tiring with lots of pretty girls. The location should be nearby, with meals included, and no overtime. Breaks should last about 2 hours. Afternoon tea is a given, and I can work any hours I like. And as a small request I'd like a paid vacation and family allowance, and housing allowance. And I'd like a bonus!

Onsen-Mark: You! Moroboshi!
Ataru: What?! What do you want?
Onsen-Mark: Ah... Never mind. I always say that when I'm upset.

Roid: You see the red button? Press it!
Customer: A red button? But this is a black and white manga...

Bulma: Where did you go?
Son Gokū: Rabbits belong on the moon, of course!

Master Roshi: A couple billion Zeni...?! Even if I went to a strip club everyday, I wonder just how many years it would take to use it all up...

Kami: Son. You were trained by an exceptional master.
Gokū: Though he is a little perverted.

Bulma: There's no way I'm going by myself, okay? Someone come with me!
Turtle Hermit: Two months round trip, huh? All right, I guess I've got no choice but to go with you.
Bulma: That will just add unnecessary danger!

Vegeta: When I was on Earth, I learned something interesting from them.
Cui: What, how to run away quickly?

Bulma: Where did you go?
Son Gokū: Rabbits belong on the moon, of course!

Master Roshi: A couple billion Zeni...?! Even if I went to a strip club everyday, I wonder just how many years it would take to use it all up...

Tai Pai Pai: You sure think highly of yourself for a cat...!
Karin: You sure think highly of yourself for an assassin...

Puri: What's a Kami-sama?
Bavaro: Kami-sama's Kami-sama.
Puri: So what's a Kami-sama?!
Cooky: He's a wonderful person!
Crepe: More wonderful than Daddy?
Cooky: You could say that.
Donuts: More wonderful than Mom?
Choco: No, he's less than her!
Donuts: Wow! Mom's really wonderful!

Kami: Son. You were trained by an exceptional master.
Gokū: Though he is a little perverted.

Mai: The man whose face strikes fear in the hearts of even the worst evildoers!
Shu: Robbery! Tattle-telling! Speeding! Blackmail! Stealing other people's food!
Mai: He'll do anything if it's for money!
Shu: His name: Mister Pilaf Daimao!

Ranma Saotome: By the way... You took a pretty good look at me, too. Besides, it's no big deal for me to see a naked girl. I mean, I've seen myself plenty of times, right? And I'm built better, to boot!

Negroponte: You are a pretty radical anarchist.
Yang Wen-li: No, but you could say I'm a vegetarian. Although as soon as I look at a delicious meat dish, I break my commandments at once.

Yang Wen-li: Alcohol is humanity's friend. Can I abandon a friend?

Olivier Poplin: Damn it's hard to get a man's clothes off, and there's no reward either.

Olivier Poplin: The entire population of the human race is 40 billion. And half of it is women. Even considering that half of that won't pass the age limit and a further half of that will fail on the account of their looks, there still are 5 billion that are potential targets of my romance. I can't waste even one second.

Bulma: There's no way I'm going by myself, okay? Someone come with me!
Turtle Hermit: Two months round trip, huh? All right, I guess I've got no choice but to go with you.
Bulma: That will just add unnecessary danger!

Vegeta: When I was on Earth, I learned something interesting from them.
Cui: What, how to run away quickly?

Oolong: I've got a bad feeling about where this is going. I'm getting goose bumps.
Bulma: You don't get goose bumps, those must be pig bumps.

Narrator: Urameshi Yusuke, age 14. He was supposed to have been the hero of this story, but... he seems to have suddenly died!

Urameshi Yusuke: Yama-sama, huh? I doubt I could beat him in a fight... No, hold on! Before he conks me, I'll surprise him with a head-butt! Then, while he's stunned, I'll slide around behind him, and blind him! After which, if I can squeeze his balls, it'd be perfect!

Botan: Even if he couldn't hear your voice, if you share the same thoughts, your feelings would get through! What you felt must have gotten across to him!
Yusuke: To Kuwabara?! Don't say such a disgusting thing!

Kuwabara: You really are one despicable guy! For feeling around Miyuki's breasts and stuff! What were you planning to do if he was really a woman?
Yusuke: Dummy! In that case, I would have just been glad to have done it, you know?

Kurama: To think that he would fall into the trap on his own!
Hiei: He truly is a fool.
Genkai: No, he's a fool and an idiot.

Botan: Koenma-sama is finally going to remove his pacifier. And when he does... Oh no! I made such a fuss about it, but I don't even know what it means in the least!

Jorge: One battle had come to an end. However, as long as people live, they must continue to fight against something. And no one can forfeit his own fight.
Koenma: Jorge, what are you talking about with such a straight face?
Jorge: The narration!

Richard: Forget about him! Detectives are good-for-nothings!!
Rachel: But, dad, you're a detective!

Kogorou: Let 'im go! You know there ain't no such thing as a normal detective!!
Ran: You're a detective, aren't you?

Richard: A case is calling me...! Never fear. The great private investigator Richard Moore will look everything over!!
Rachel: "Will overlook everything" is more like it...

Kogorou: A case is callign for me... The great detective Mouri Kogorou!!
Ran: Not "great", but more like "confused"...

Yumi: Hey! Enough about my ex!!
Conan: Nobody asked you for the details...

Amy: For our next activity, let's search that mysterious house on Block 2!
George: You mean the place next door to Doc Agasa's?
Mitch: Rumor has it that it's haunted!
Conan: Nooo! That's my house!