Quotes tagged with "funny" (by characters)

Akihito Kanbara: A girl without glasses is like a shortcake without strawberries!

Akira Akatsuki: Somehow, I've got a feeling it'll go great today! Maybe it's the hamburger I ate for dinner?

Anahol Pokki: I swore revenge on my brother's stylish nose!

Ane: What's the big deal about getting your butt groped? Do you know why there are two halves to your butt? It's so that you won't mind if someone touches one half.

Anna Kyoyama: Don't worry about it. I'm Yoh's fiancée, and you're just a fan.

Aoi Ashito: I don't need tactics. Or rather, I am the tactic.

Asagi: You don't see a lot of people applying for ninja licenses these days. Let me make this clear first. Becoming a ninja doesn't mean you'll be able to use stuff like the Rasengan or chakra, okay?

Asta: We're supposed to be a team! I protect you! You protect me! Then we'll be able to fight forever! An epic strategy, if I do say so myself!

Beerus: His singing and dancing were both terrible. He'd be a fair match for you, Whis.

Bessho Koyoi: Last year it was Sachertorte, the year before it was gateau chocolate, the year before that it was a chocolate blancmange... I wonder what I should make this year? Of course!! What about a super-ultra-huge chocolate wedding cake?!

Blood Leopard: My name is Blood Leopard. Call me Leopard, not Blood. If you want to shorten it, Pard and not Leopa.

Botan: Koenma-sama is finally going to remove his pacifier. And when he does... Oh no! I made such a fuss about it, but I don't even know what it means in the least!

Bulma: If you're a god, don't get mad over a little pudding, idiot!

Chiaki Oogaki: You just won't shut up about Mount Fuji, so starting today, you'll be known as "Fujiko."

Child Emperor: We don't know much about him. He could be a spy from another organization— Well, maybe not with that face.

Chiranosuke: I forgot to tell you. When you get too excited and lose consciousness, an asteroid comes down and exterminates humanity.

Dororo: If I take two and give three to Bro, that's no fun for me. But I'd feel bad for Bro giving him two while taking three for myself. Honestly, five is such an inconvenient number. In the end, it's best if I just eat them all myself.

Dutch: I don't believe it. My head's still attached. Even my shades are okay. Amen Hallelujah peanut butter.

Edward Grant: I just wanted to shake Cap's hand once... And maybe an autograph and a photo too.

Elizabeth: Man, look at you all whining. That's why you're One Piece Quarter. Actually, it took four years to make 1/4 the amount. So if you want to be number one, you'll have to spend sixteen years preparing.

Fujio Fuji: I am tardy!! As I fly to almost certain tardiness, slice of bread firmly between teeth, I will certainly collide with the fated heroine. Manga plots demand it... And I, specs, must experiment to determine the truth of it!! However, I wonder as to the necessity of pronouncing my tardiness aloud. Also, in the near future, the bread in my mouth will cause a shortage of breath...

Fujio Fuji: During a single point within a time frame two elderly men lived within their abode... And in the abode closest to them, there lived an elderly gentleman by the name of Cinderel. However on a certain day a beautiful, petite elderly man came floating down from the sky...

Fumio Akatsuka: "Akatsuka"? Perhaps that used to be my name. However, I have abandoned my past! I will now be reborn anew... Yes!! From today forward, my name shall be The Jet-Black Crimson Knight!!

Fumio Akatsuka: It's true that as a little kid I was thin and weak... And it was Jump that told me that if I trained, I could get stronger. In my desire to come ever closer to my beloved Jump characters, I'd wear the shell of a turtle on my back... I'd climb a cliff using only one arm... I'd stop a barrage of tennis balls with only my stomach muscles... And while I was at it, I managed to style my hair like a Super Saiyan...

Gauche: Today's my sister's birthday, so could I have the next year off, until her next birthday?

German teacher: It can't be helped. I'll give you a freebie. I covered this in class. Translate what I'm about to say into German and write it on the back. Question 1: "Rheumatoid arthritis." Question 2: "A man holding a banana while naked." The last question: "James Thomas."

Gintoki Sakata: Come on, I'm not carrying anything metal. Is it responding to my iron will?

Gintoki Sakata: I've been reading Jump for twenty years. So I'll teach you about friendship, diligence and victory.

Gintoki Sakata: When are they going to run the next Hanger x Hanger? Keeping me in suspense like that! They say "we'll be right back".

Gintoki Sakata: Men can get by with knowledge of the Sengoku era alone! Before that, it was just mostly-gorillas running around with spears in hand.

Gintoki Sakata: Overcoming the obstacle of these annoying seeds to eat the watermelon is the mini-drama, of sorts, that gives its flavor a sense of urgency and makes it even more delicious. Basically, when you eat a watermelon, you eat not the fruit, but the drama it creates.

Gordon Agrippa: Being Asta's childhood friend would also make him Asta's best friend's childhood friend. That would mean Yuno and I are also best friends.

Hachiman Hikigaya: Well, worst case, I get serious. When I get serious, groveling and even boot licking is no problem.

Hachiman Hikigaya: The police don't mobilize until after an incident happens, and it's standard for heroes to show up late. But would anyone condemn them for being late? So, speaking paradoxically, lateness is justice...

Hachiman Hikigaya: These days, prep schools are granting tuition waivers for students with good grades. If I get that, and get tuition money from my parents, that money will be mine.

Hachiman Hikigaya: Hey! I'm really grown up! I grumble, I tell filthy lies, I do underhanded things...

Hachiman Hikigaya: Well, they say the kanji for "people" is two people supporting each other. But did you ever notice one side is leaning on the other? I believe the acceptance of sacrificing someone is the whole idea behind "people".

Hajime Obi: The name's Obi Hajime! If that's a pain to say, call me Obi-One!

Hanabatake Yoshiko: If you pierce your ear with a needle, blood will fly everywhere. Then bacteria will enter the wound and infect it... Then you suffer... and die.

Hata-ōji: I make a rare appearance and this is how I get treated? I might as well transfer over to "D.Gray-man".