Quotes tagged with "funny" (best), page 5

Tsuna: What do we do about this?! After Mr. Kawahira helped hide us... How do we explain this to him?
Reborn: Just say that it burned down.

Okita: Die, Hijikata.
Hijikata: Die, Okita.
Okita: Die, Okita. Oops, I mean Hijikata.

Sakuma: If we lose, we're kicked off the team immediately.
Koizumi: Did you hear that, mister? They're like the Shinsengumi. You don't have Kondou Isami's permission?
Sakuma: I didn't even tell Hijikata I was coming.
Koizumi: So you're prepared to commit ritual suicide. Okay, Mr. Okita. We'll gift you some of our time.

Pilaf: Did you just fly over here, young master?!
Trunks: More importantly, I was trying to act cool and I went and said that you're my girlfriend...
Pilaf: Me? Really?
Trunks: Not you!
Shu: Me?!
Trunks: What?! No! The girl!
Mai: Me?!

Konata Izumi: I heard that this was something that really happened... Someone who works at a certain video software wholesaler finished work for that day, and got on a bus late at night like he usually does. His house was towards the end of the bus route. And so, as he was riding the bus, other passengers started leaving one by one, and he ended up as the only passenger left. The driver mistakenly thought that there was nobody left on the bus... And, can you believe it? He started to sing, in a loud voice, Danzen! Futari wa _______ Cure!

Shinpachi: Gin-san, nurses are really amazing, aren't they?
Gintoki: For example, take a woman who's a 7... Put her in a nurse's uniform and she becomes a 10.

Hachiman Hikigaya: These days, prep schools are granting tuition waivers for students with good grades. If I get that, and get tuition money from my parents, that money will be mine.

Tenten: They're revolting...
Lee: Leave them to me. I am the Guykage's right hand man. I can quell this little rebellion. Everyone, please calm down. Let's talk this out..
Tenten: Wow, Lee's actually being serious.
Lee: ...with our fists!

Shippō: Kagome will forgive you!
Inuyasha: What're you saying?! You sound like it's all my fault!
Shippō: It is your fault! Don't you still suspect Kagome!? Kagome did indeed protect Koga and helped him escape. Koga is your enemy. And she was kidnapped by him and suffered! Yet she helped him! That's right, Kagome's the one who suffered most at Koga's hands. So why did she take his side? Inuyasha... Do you think that maybe Kagome really did fall in love with Koga!
Inuyasha: Don't ask me! If you're gonna try to reason with me get your facts straight first!

Kōji Yoshida: I'm A-OK with taking on the challenge of making you a super mangaka! ... That's right, like the Super Saiyan of mangaka.

Shippō: How can you stand there looking so blank?! Kagome is a beauty! So she may already have been eaten up!
Inuyasha: So... Tell me what's pretty about Kagome?
Myōga: I've been thinking this from before... but I think your perception of beauty is a little off.
Shippō: Aghhh! No wonder you look and dress so weird!
Myōga: I agree... A red outfit is a bit troubling. I think you should dress with a little more refinement.

Miroku: It's easier said than done, but don't worry too much. I understand what you're going through. Do you want to be alone, after all?
Sango: So... is that all? After all, considering the way you usually are... I thought after giving me the pep talk you'd do something lecherous.
Miroku: Sango. You should have told me sooner if that's what you wanted.

Matsutarō: Where's the salt? The salt I'm supposed to throw.
Sędzia: Salt is for ranks juryo and up.
Matsutarō: Oh, it is? I'll settle for sugar, then.

Member of Shinsengumi: That sword is a Kikuichimonji RX-78! It has a built-in digital music player with a maximum playing time of 124 hours!

Endō Shōji: It would be cowardly to run away from it like this, right, Satō Koichi!
Satō Koichi: Huh?
Endō Shōji: Nothing. I'm talking to myself.
Satō Koichi: What do you mean? After calling a person by his full name.

Konata Izumi: I haven't seen that guy around for a while... Yeah. He was a soldier-type character, but he wanted to raise his combat skills, and he left saying he was going to train in an area with a lot of monsters... And he hasn't come back since. I heard he's camping out in the underground nest. But I wonder if he's all right, acting all hermit-like? Everyone's getting pretty worried.

Switch: Sure wish he'd just talk like a normal person!

Tōyako: Perhaps an enemy stronger than anything you have ever faced will appear. You can't survive without this ultimate technique. ... In addition, if this anime is released as a fighting game, it'll be too plain if it doesn't have an ultimate technique. Think about the business aspect. Don't you know how hard a time Bandai's had?

Hajime Obi: The name's Obi Hajime! If that's a pain to say, call me Obi-One!

Nagi: If I put a sparkly heart keychain from a 100-yen shop on this bag, can't I just say it's a Sama*tha Thavasa?
Tsugumi: If you talk about Sama*tha Thavasa while wearing those anime clothes, our few female viewers will snicker.

Murakoshi Miki: You'd prefer a man with lots of money, right?
Miura Chihiro: Wrong. The man of my dreams... He must have a villa, plenty of servants, and a yacht. He must be able to provide me with cute clothes and high-heels!

Neko Majin: What kind of aliens are you that you don't even have 3000 yen?! You guys are the worst! You travelled all the way to Earth without so much as a penny?!

Aoyama: It's finished.
Uchida: It looks kind of like a penguin.
Aoyama: Huh? It was supposed to be a research vessel.

Yoshino: Were you browsing adult sites on Kirino's laptop again?
Kyōsuke: What are you saying, dear mother? Look at this pure blue sky which precisely reflects my heart!

Narrator: The world was becoming filled with inconsistencies. Posted billed forbidding posted bills. Cold hot coffee. Strange hairstyles. Jobs with seven days off per week. Full-tilt half-assedness. Precise malarkey. Frantic relaxation.

Issei: Damn it for sucking up energy from girls' boobs!
Kiba: But why the boobs?
Issei: Don't ask something so obvious! I'd love to join in and suck up Akeno's and the President's "energy"!
Asia: Please don't sympathize with the monster.
Issei: Sympathize? Preposterous! I'm completely jealous of the monster!

Misaki: While this guy listens to music, he has the cognitive power to input that song as MP3 data in real time.

Cherry: What kind of work do you want?
Ataru: I won't ask for much, just ¥10,000 an hour, lots of fun, and something not tiring with lots of pretty girls. The location should be nearby, with meals included, and no overtime. Breaks should last about 2 hours. Afternoon tea is a given, and I can work any hours I like. And as a small request I'd like a paid vacation and family allowance, and housing allowance. And I'd like a bonus!

Miyako: Norippe, did you buy your computer at an electronics store? Was it expensive?
Nori: I dunno. I'm not sure how much it cost, my uncle built it for me as a gift for starting high school.
Yuno: Your uncle...
Miyako: ...made it?
Yuno: Nori, is your uncle Mr. Gates?

Asagi: You don't see a lot of people applying for ninja licenses these days. Let me make this clear first. Becoming a ninja doesn't mean you'll be able to use stuff like the Rasengan or chakra, okay?

Lewis: See those two over there? They're going to Paris. They wanted me to introduce them to you guys.
Julia Silverstein: And you accepted a chocolate candy bar in exchange for an introduction.
Lewis: No. I accepted a whole box!

Bossun: If everything goes our way, Nwe'll be able to escape! Probably!
Himeko: Y-You're a genius... Probably!
Bossun: Probably!
Himeko: Probably!

Killua: When I was winning in the 190s, I had around two hundred million, total.
Zushi: Two hundred million...
Gon: Where's that money now?
Killua: That was four years ago! Of course it's gone now. Spent it all on snacks!
Gon: Two hundred million on snacks, in four years?
Zushi: What kind of snacks are these?

Sanji: This is no time to relax and go whale watching! Even if we've escaped the whirlpool, we're still in plenty of danger here! First of all, did anyone get washed away in the current just now? Let's do a head count! Nami!
Nami: Here.
Sanji: Robin!
Robin: I'm here.
Sanji: Okay, next we've gotta get away from here! If any of those huge whales crash into us, the ship will be smashed!
Chopper: Count us, too!
Usopp: Sanji, the other 6 of us are alive!
Sanji: Nami, orders?
Nami: We're fine where we are.
Sanji: You here that? We're fine where we are, you idiots! Now, let's go whale watching!

Jun'ichirō Hoshimura: Boobs that don't shake aren't boobs at all.

Gintoki Sakata: Overcoming the obstacle of these annoying seeds to eat the watermelon is the mini-drama, of sorts, that gives its flavor a sense of urgency and makes it even more delicious. Basically, when you eat a watermelon, you eat not the fruit, but the drama it creates.

Yui: Well, see, I lost in a game with Yukinon, so this is like my punishment.
Hachiman: Talking to me is a punishment?

Soku: Going on a first date without a strategy is like fighting a Tailed Beast unarmed.

Musica: You don't like being called fatass, huh? Then, how about just pig?
Bis: Even if you compliment me now, it's still too late.

Koyume: I really learned a lot! It was scary but I feel like something's opened up for me a bit more.
Ruki: Really?
Koyume: For example... I feel the same satisfaction I would if I just finished shoveling snow!