Quotes tagged with "funny" (best), page 4

Miroku: We don't need payment for this. We just ask for lodgings, food and women.

Member of Shinsengumi: That sword is a Kikuichimonji RX-78! It has a built-in digital music player with a maximum playing time of 124 hours!

Shinpachi Shimura: I can't! I can't do it! I'd be glad if I can do it with a cute girl like her... But I'm still a boy and this time slot is anime time for children. We were already demoted from golden hour. If the PTA sends in a flood of complaints, the show will be canceled!

Azumi: If I don't do something, I'll go crazy. I feel like I'm going to turn into a love monster!
Shinpachi: Well, you already are a monster, I guess.

Tsukasa: That, and don't forget the sound of the spinning drills! It's so scary!
Konata: But boys might like dentists and stuff, then.
Tsukasa: Why?
Konata: I mean, they say that a drill is like a guy's romantic ideal. I hear they're all about dueling robots that use drills as weapons!

Mutta: I did two hundred, sixteen squats yesterday, and I feel just fine!
Mother: Two hundred and sixteen?
Father: Such a half-assed number. You couldn't manage four more?

Tae Shimura: Father, it's been a while. I have something to tell you today. I think it's time to begin. I will become the character I was created to be. It's time to restore the Kodokan Dojo you left us, Father. Sorry to make you wait 260 episodes.

Inuyasha: She chose to go home herself! She said, "I'm going back home, stupid!"
Kaede: Inuyasha... Even your imitation of her is stupid.

Hata-ōji: I make a rare appearance and this is how I get treated? I might as well transfer over to "D.Gray-man".

Satō Yō: Oshiroi, do you want to do it with me... no, with the Hounds?
Oshiroi Hana: Well... I don't know how to put this. It's not that I'm not interested... But... for starters, just one person would be better. I'm new to this, so I'd like to hold hands and stuff first...
Satō Yō: I was asking if you want to join the Hounds.
Oshiroi Hana: But you asked if I wanted to do it in a group...

Kagami: There's been more and more spam lately. It's a pain.
Konata: Oh, you should change your text address to something that isn't too obvious. I changed mine too.
Kagami: Something that isn't obvious? Like what?
Konata: My address is iluvgirlsinglasses in English characters. I would have preferred something like "maid", but addresses like maid-san and miko-san are so popular that...

Myōga: How unusual for Inuyasha to contemplate about something.

Miroku: This is a fine palm. You'll live a long life and have many children. ... How about it? Won't you have one of my children?

Zonge: It's been a while since I've been to a city.
Henchmen: Yes, it's been quite a long time.
Henchmen: Uh, this is our first time coming to a city.
Zonge: I've gone to plenty in RPGs.

Kagami: S'up? How's your exam studies going?
Konata: I was just cleaning up my room right now.

Tenten: It's pretty obvious we should've taken a left turn at the fork!
Shikamaru: No, if we'd taken a left... We'd have gone past a barbecue place that's out this way, and Choji would've been like...
Chōji: "I'm starving!"
Shikamaru: And he'd make us stop. But as soon as we walked in...
Man: "I'm so sorry. We're out of beef."
Chōji: "No, I've got a craving now!"
Shikamaru: And we'd be off to find a cow out in the mountains...
Chōji: "There's one!"
Neji: "Wait, Choji! That's a female!"
Shikamaru: Then we'd learn it's pregnant. And after its calf was born, Choji would be so moved by the miracle of birth that he'd be like...
Chōji: "I'm gonna live out here and raise cattle."
Shikamaru: He'd quit his life as a ninja to become a farmer.

Yūgo Hachiken: How can I face everyone? I'm basically Tokugawa Hidetada... The man who didn't make it in time to the Battle of Sekigahara.

Shippō: Kagome will forgive you!
Inuyasha: What're you saying?! You sound like it's all my fault!
Shippō: It is your fault! Don't you still suspect Kagome!? Kagome did indeed protect Koga and helped him escape. Koga is your enemy. And she was kidnapped by him and suffered! Yet she helped him! That's right, Kagome's the one who suffered most at Koga's hands. So why did she take his side? Inuyasha... Do you think that maybe Kagome really did fall in love with Koga!
Inuyasha: Don't ask me! If you're gonna try to reason with me get your facts straight first!

Konata Izumi: There isn't much difference in appearance when you gain or lose a kilogram or two... Why does she look so ecstatic or depressed with a matter of a few kilograms? This is why girls are so...

Takigawa Hōshō: This camera has had it, hasn't it?
Shibuya Kazuya: Oh, that's okay. It's insured.
Taniyama Mai: Oh, it is? Before, when you told me to be your assistant instead of paying you back for the camera I broke, did that just mean that you simply wanted some more help?
Shibuya Kazuya: You've gotten a little smarter, haven't you?

Pilaf: Did you just fly over here, young master?!
Trunks: More importantly, I was trying to act cool and I went and said that you're my girlfriend...
Pilaf: Me? Really?
Trunks: Not you!
Shu: Me?!
Trunks: What?! No! The girl!
Mai: Me?!

Tsukuyo: Hinowa asked me to teach Seita how to swim. Anyway, I didn't know what to expect from a pool, but it seems to be just like Yoshiwara. Men and women enjoying themselves without any clothes on.

Konata Izumi: My dad, when he went to deliver his script after an all-nighter, got on an early train, overslept all the way to the final stop, then the train made a U-turn, and before he knew it, he had overslept again. He went back and forth many times. He eventually woke up closer and closer to the destination station, but he would always sleep past it by a very close margin... He was so tired that he just wanted to come home and sleep, but he couldn't manage to make his way home. And in the end, when he woke up with a start, he couldn't figure out which direction he was heading at the time.

Myōga: According to rumors, those two brothers devour pretty girls immediately!
Shippō: Is that true?! What'll we do? Does that mean Kagome has already...
Inuyasha: Stupid! What's pretty about Kagome?
Shippō: What?! Are you totally blind?!
Myōga: Yes, I think she's very pretty, too.
Shippō: I'll bet she's already been eaten! It's all my fault!
Myōga: "Pretty woman, short life." What a wise saying.

Kagami: Did you tell a lie to someone today, Tsukasa?
Tsukasa: Yeah.
Kagami: That's unusual. What kind of lie?
Tsukasa: Just now, when I said I told a lie, that was a lie.

Rintarō: How about adding a cute "meow" at the end of your sentences?
Kurisu: Why do I have to do that?!
Rintarō: Assistant, dear. You are the representative of Japan's maid culture!

Mikan: And there was that one day it snowed a bunch, and we made a snowman here.
Rito: Oh, heah, we did! Although he wasn't exactly the most handsome snowman ever!
Mikan: Yeah, your taste... or lack thereof... really shone through!

Kamogawa: The opponent for your debut match has been selected. Nishikawa Gym's Yusuke Oda!
Takamura: What? Did you say Yusuke Oda?!
Makunouchi: Do you know him, Takamura?!
Takamura: Nope.
Kamogawa: I'd like to tell you the details... but I don't know, either.
Takamura: If you don't know, don't build up the suspense, moron!

Takigawa Hōshō: It would seem that the source of the curse was not the spirits of the rokubu, after all.
Shibuya Kazuya: It's Okobu-sama.
Taniyama Mai: How did you know?
Shibuya Kazuya: Because my brain works differently than yours.

Yui: Mama was talking about wanting to have many children. So how do you make children?
Asuna: W-Well Yui, to have a child, you have to open the options menu and go to the hidden options, then choose "Ethic Code Off"...
Kirito: Do you realize what you're about to explain!? Listen, Yui. To have a child, you must first get married. This unlocks an event where a stork brings you a baby.
Yui: How did the stork get the baby?
Kirito: The babies are born in cabbage fields. They are spawned from the cabbages.
Yui: So, if I was born in a cabbage field, does that mean I'm the child of a cabbage?
Asuna: Kirito, I knew it. It might be better to tell her the truth.
Kirito: Asuna, please don't overthink this!
Klein: No! The truth is that we are all human cabbages!

Kūgo: Ever fantasize about being inside a game?
Ichigo: What're you talking about?
Kūgo: Admit it. Every kid's thought about it. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
Ichigo: I can't say I never thought about it, but...
Kūgo: Is that so? I've never wanted to, not even once.

Hajime: It'd be a tragedy if we gave them a culture-inspired name, since it'd affect the rest of their life.
Kaoru: Let's name it something that'll go with your family name.
Hajime: If it's a boy, Shinji. A girl, Rei.

Shinobi: During the attempt, the Nine Tails devoured Lords Kinkaku and Ginkaku... and then they were expelled.
Shinobi: Expelled? You mean from behind?

Inuyasha: That cocky bastard! Calling me a "mutt"!
Shippō: I don't blame him for getting upset at being called a "mutt". But he sure looks like one.

Shinpachi: Gin-san, nurses are really amazing, aren't they?
Gintoki: For example, take a woman who's a 7... Put her in a nurse's uniform and she becomes a 10.

Musica: Wow, that cat is cool! Is it a chihuahua?
Haru: You think it's a cat? But a chihuahua is a dog!

Ichiriki Orihara: You're a freshman in college with a serialization and a wife?! Awesome! Too awesome! There really are a ton of strange manga authors!

Sakuma: If we lose, we're kicked off the team immediately.
Koizumi: Did you hear that, mister? They're like the Shinsengumi. You don't have Kondou Isami's permission?
Sakuma: I didn't even tell Hijikata I was coming.
Koizumi: So you're prepared to commit ritual suicide. Okay, Mr. Okita. We'll gift you some of our time.

Ryōko Asuka: Sensei... Kanzaki, Himekawa, Natsume, Shiroyama, Furuichi, Oga, Kunieda, Omori, Tanimura and Hanazawa are absent today because they have a stomach ache. I dunno anything else.

Onsen-Mark: You! Moroboshi!
Ataru: What?! What do you want?
Onsen-Mark: Ah... Never mind. I always say that when I'm upset.