Quotes tagged with "funny" (best), page 4

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Zenzo: It's the Jump double issue.
Gintoki: Jump double issue. Eh? Jump double issue?
Zenzo: Jump double issue?
Gintoki: Good grief. There's only one left...
Zenzo: What should we do?
Gintoki: I've already been to seven or eight convenience stores already. Everyone's free during the holiday season, so they are all sold out.
Zenzo: Yeah? Well, I've been to ten convenience stores.
Gintoki: Oh, if I include this one, I've actually been to 15 stores.
Zenzo: Well, my little boy, Hiroshi really wants Jump. Hiroshi is my son and only 5 years old.
Gintoki: My mom really wants it, too. She's sick. I wonder if she'll see it through the year... In fact, I'm sure she won't.
Zenzo: Well, Hiroshi is also going to die.
Gintoki: Hiroshi is going to die?
Zonge: It's been a while since I've been to a city.
Henchmen: Yes, it's been quite a long time.
Henchmen: Uh, this is our first time coming to a city.
Zonge: I've gone to plenty in RPGs.
Gintoki Sakata: Overcoming the obstacle of these annoying seeds to eat the watermelon is the mini-drama, of sorts, that gives its flavor a sense of urgency and makes it even more delicious. Basically, when you eat a watermelon, you eat not the fruit, but the drama it creates.
Hata-ōji: I make a rare appearance and this is how I get treated? I might as well transfer over to "D.Gray-man".
Tsukasa: That, and don't forget the sound of the spinning drills! It's so scary!
Konata: But boys might like dentists and stuff, then.
Tsukasa: Why?
Konata: I mean, they say that a drill is like a guy's romantic ideal. I hear they're all about dueling robots that use drills as weapons!
Gintoki Sakata: I've been reading Jump for twenty years. So I'll teach you about friendship, diligence and victory.
Gintoki: I don't wanna do any training. It's such a pain.
Shinpachi: He just said something a JUMP main character would never say! He doesn't have a shred of ambition!
Beerus: Man, you're useless.
Shen Long: Forgive me... Have you any other wish?
Beerus: Scram. That's my wish.
Mikan: And there was that one day it snowed a bunch, and we made a snowman here.
Rito: Oh, heah, we did! Although he wasn't exactly the most handsome snowman ever!
Mikan: Yeah, your taste... or lack thereof... really shone through!
Konata Izumi: There isn't much difference in appearance when you gain or lose a kilogram or two... Why does she look so ecstatic or depressed with a matter of a few kilograms? This is why girls are so...
Member of Shinsengumi: That sword is a Kikuichimonji RX-78! It has a built-in digital music player with a maximum playing time of 124 hours!
Takigawa Hōshō: This camera has had it, hasn't it?
Shibuya Kazuya: Oh, that's okay. It's insured.
Taniyama Mai: Oh, it is? Before, when you told me to be your assistant instead of paying you back for the camera I broke, did that just mean that you simply wanted some more help?
Shibuya Kazuya: You've gotten a little smarter, haven't you?
Hajime: It'd be a tragedy if we gave them a culture-inspired name, since it'd affect the rest of their life.
Kaoru: Let's name it something that'll go with your family name.
Hajime: If it's a boy, Shinji. A girl, Rei.
Kagami: There's been more and more spam lately. It's a pain.
Konata: Oh, you should change your text address to something that isn't too obvious. I changed mine too.
Kagami: Something that isn't obvious? Like what?
Konata: My address is iluvgirlsinglasses in English characters. I would have preferred something like "maid", but addresses like maid-san and miko-san are so popular that...
Yui: Mama was talking about wanting to have many children. So how do you make children?
Asuna: W-Well Yui, to have a child, you have to open the options menu and go to the hidden options, then choose "Ethic Code Off"...
Kirito: Do you realize what you're about to explain!? Listen, Yui. To have a child, you must first get married. This unlocks an event where a stork brings you a baby.
Yui: How did the stork get the baby?
Kirito: The babies are born in cabbage fields. They are spawned from the cabbages.
Yui: So, if I was born in a cabbage field, does that mean I'm the child of a cabbage?
Asuna: Kirito, I knew it. It might be better to tell her the truth.
Kirito: Asuna, please don't overthink this!
Klein: No! The truth is that we are all human cabbages!
Sanji: This is no time to relax and go whale watching! Even if we've escaped the whirlpool, we're still in plenty of danger here! First of all, did anyone get washed away in the current just now? Let's do a head count! Nami!
Nami: Here.
Sanji: Robin!
Robin: I'm here.
Sanji: Okay, next we've gotta get away from here! If any of those huge whales crash into us, the ship will be smashed!
Chopper: Count us, too!
Usopp: Sanji, the other 6 of us are alive!
Sanji: Nami, orders?
Nami: We're fine where we are.
Sanji: You here that? We're fine where we are, you idiots! Now, let's go whale watching!
Gintoki Sakata: Come on, I'm not carrying anything metal. Is it responding to my iron will?
Kagami: S'up? How's your exam studies going?
Konata: I was just cleaning up my room right now.
Rintarō: How about adding a cute "meow" at the end of your sentences?
Kurisu: Why do I have to do that?!
Rintarō: Assistant, dear. You are the representative of Japan's maid culture!
Shinobi: During the attempt, the Nine Tails devoured Lords Kinkaku and Ginkaku... and then they were expelled.
Shinobi: Expelled? You mean from behind?
Tsukuyo: Hinowa asked me to teach Seita how to swim. Anyway, I didn't know what to expect from a pool, but it seems to be just like Yoshiwara. Men and women enjoying themselves without any clothes on.
Musica: Wow, that cat is cool! Is it a chihuahua?
Haru: You think it's a cat? But a chihuahua is a dog!
Tae Shimura: Father, it's been a while. I have something to tell you today. I think it's time to begin. I will become the character I was created to be. It's time to restore the Kodokan Dojo you left us, Father. Sorry to make you wait 260 episodes.
Takigawa Hōshō: It would seem that the source of the curse was not the spirits of the rokubu, after all.
Shibuya Kazuya: It's Okobu-sama.
Taniyama Mai: How did you know?
Shibuya Kazuya: Because my brain works differently than yours.
Konata Izumi: My dad, when he went to deliver his script after an all-nighter, got on an early train, overslept all the way to the final stop, then the train made a U-turn, and before he knew it, he had overslept again. He went back and forth many times. He eventually woke up closer and closer to the destination station, but he would always sleep past it by a very close margin... He was so tired that he just wanted to come home and sleep, but he couldn't manage to make his way home. And in the end, when he woke up with a start, he couldn't figure out which direction he was heading at the time.
Inuyasha: She chose to go home herself! She said, "I'm going back home, stupid!"
Kaede: Inuyasha... Even your imitation of her is stupid.
Myōga: How unusual for Inuyasha to contemplate about something.
Satō Yō: Oshiroi, do you want to do it with me... no, with the Hounds?
Oshiroi Hana: Well... I don't know how to put this. It's not that I'm not interested... But... for starters, just one person would be better. I'm new to this, so I'd like to hold hands and stuff first...
Satō Yō: I was asking if you want to join the Hounds.
Oshiroi Hana: But you asked if I wanted to do it in a group...
Miroku: This is a fine palm. You'll live a long life and have many children. ... How about it? Won't you have one of my children?
Kagami: Did you tell a lie to someone today, Tsukasa?
Tsukasa: Yeah.
Kagami: That's unusual. What kind of lie?
Tsukasa: Just now, when I said I told a lie, that was a lie.
Sakuma: If we lose, we're kicked off the team immediately.
Koizumi: Did you hear that, mister? They're like the Shinsengumi. You don't have Kondou Isami's permission?
Sakuma: I didn't even tell Hijikata I was coming.
Koizumi: So you're prepared to commit ritual suicide. Okay, Mr. Okita. We'll gift you some of our time.
Inuyasha: That cocky bastard! Calling me a "mutt"!
Shippō: I don't blame him for getting upset at being called a "mutt". But he sure looks like one.
Myōga: According to rumors, those two brothers devour pretty girls immediately!
Shippō: Is that true?! What'll we do? Does that mean Kagome has already...
Inuyasha: Stupid! What's pretty about Kagome?
Shippō: What?! Are you totally blind?!
Myōga: Yes, I think she's very pretty, too.
Shippō: I'll bet she's already been eaten! It's all my fault!
Myōga: "Pretty woman, short life." What a wise saying.
Shippō: Kagome will forgive you!
Inuyasha: What're you saying?! You sound like it's all my fault!
Shippō: It is your fault! Don't you still suspect Kagome!? Kagome did indeed protect Koga and helped him escape. Koga is your enemy. And she was kidnapped by him and suffered! Yet she helped him! That's right, Kagome's the one who suffered most at Koga's hands. So why did she take his side? Inuyasha... Do you think that maybe Kagome really did fall in love with Koga!
Inuyasha: Don't ask me! If you're gonna try to reason with me get your facts straight first!
Saitama: In other words, you gotta train like hell to the point where your hair falls out. That's the only way to become strong.
Kūgo: Ever fantasize about being inside a game?
Ichigo: What're you talking about?
Kūgo: Admit it. Every kid's thought about it. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
Ichigo: I can't say I never thought about it, but...
Kūgo: Is that so? I've never wanted to, not even once.
Ichiriki Orihara: You're a freshman in college with a serialization and a wife?! Awesome! Too awesome! There really are a ton of strange manga authors!
Hachiman Hikigaya: These days, prep schools are granting tuition waivers for students with good grades. If I get that, and get tuition money from my parents, that money will be mine.
Shinpachi: Gin-san, nurses are really amazing, aren't they?
Gintoki: For example, take a woman who's a 7... Put her in a nurse's uniform and she becomes a 10.
Onsen-Mark: You! Moroboshi!
Ataru: What?! What do you want?
Onsen-Mark: Ah... Never mind. I always say that when I'm upset.

Quotes found: 392