Quotes tagged with "funny" (best), page 3

Hachiman Hikigaya: The police don't mobilize until after an incident happens, and it's standard for heroes to show up late. But would anyone condemn them for being late? So, speaking paradoxically, lateness is justice...

Narrator: These two are on the same team as Hinata and... Well, they're pretty minor characters, so that's about it.

Goku: Do you know about the Super Saiyan God?
Shen Long: Yes, I know about it. your wish to ask whether it's real or not?
Goku: No, no, no, no, no! If you do know, could you bring it here?
Shen Long: I cannot. It doesn't exist. Super Saiyan God is a temporary god created by the Saiyans.
Goku: What do you mean by that?
Shen Long: You have a lot of questions. What exactly is your wish?

Gintoki: Scary... Super scary!
Hasegawa: What part of that story made you freak out?!
Gintoki: Toei Animation's gonna kill us!

Konata Izumi: I may look like this, but I have about a hundred friends, and my social and bargaining skills are pretty high, and I join a party every night. With my allies, I work to bring back the glimmer in crystals to prevent the world from falling to ruin, and rescue the kidnapped princess...

Yang Wen-li: Alcohol is humanity's friend. Can I abandon a friend?

Konata: I went to Asakusa the other day.
Kagami: Oh? When did you go?
Konata: Trains in the winter make you drowsy, you know?
Kagami: She slept past her destination?!
Tsukasa: Wait... But isn't that in the opposite direction?
Konata: Apparently, I slept too long, so it doubled back from the final stop, and I slept past my station again. And when I came to, it was Asakusa.

Hitsugaya: Kuchiki and Kuchiki aren't here.
Ikkaku: Can you refer to them by first names, sir? You're confusing us.

Lee: To think that our Guy Sensei is the Hokage!
Gai: Insolent fool! I am no longer Guy Sensei. I'm the Guykage!

Miyuki Takara: Come to think of it, when I went to an amusement park the other day, I had thought I was lining up for one of the rides, when I actually was in line for the restroom.

Komatsu: N-No way... The legendary chef... Setsuno-sama...
Setsuno: Hey, now. There's no need to attach "sama". Call me Setsunon.
Komatsu: S-She has such strong friendly affinity. No, I can't talk like I'm classmates with a Human National Treasure...
Setsuno: Who're classmates?! Don't act so familiar!

Konata: Well, even though it's vacation, I'm going to see our teacher almost every day anyway.
Kagami: Why? You have summer classes or something?
Konata: We form parties in our net game and stuff. Our teacher is a wiz and I'm a tank, so when we pair up and I pull stuff, it's pretty good in terms of both xp and money. Though I'm always the busy one, and all our teacher does is click on one of the AoE skills. The other day, I pulled a ton of mobs only to find our teacher had fallen asleep at the keyboard, and it took me all day to earn my death penalty back...

China: What's your name?
Japan: Hello, China-of-where-the-sun-falls. I am Japan-of-whence-the-sun-rises.
China: You're pretty rude!

Gintoki Sakata: Overcoming the obstacle of these annoying seeds to eat the watermelon is the mini-drama, of sorts, that gives its flavor a sense of urgency and makes it even more delicious. Basically, when you eat a watermelon, you eat not the fruit, but the drama it creates.

Supreme Kai: It's the power of love. The power of Krillin and No. 18's love won! It's truly your Big Amour! You two are so lovey-dovey I'm jealous! How sweet!
No. 18: I'll kill you.
Supreme Kai: I'm sorry. I got carried away.

Bluenote Stinger: I asked you already. Where is Mavis's grave?
Wendy Marvell: The grave of the founding Master? It has something to do with the second test?
Happy: I see. I understand!
Carla: I'm sure it's something completely Nidiotic, but I suppose I'll ask anyway...
Happy: You want to become an S class wizard, too!

Piccolo: Five pure-hearted Saiyans? Impossible. Gohan and Goten are the only two like that.
Bulma: How rude of you! Vegeta may be a lost cause, but Trunks certainly has a pure heart!
Piccolo: Someone who has a girlfriend at that age is impure.
Bulma: Whoa! What era do you live in, old man?! Aren't you just being jealous?
Chi-Chi: That's right, Piccolo! Are you saying Goku is impure as well?!
Żółwi Pustelnik: It's true that he's kind, but whether or not a kind idiot who's obsessed with fighting counts as being pure-hearted is debatable.

Ane: What's the big deal about getting your butt groped? Do you know why there are two halves to your butt? It's so that you won't mind if someone touches one half.

Gintoki Sakata: Men can get by with knowledge of the Sengoku era alone! Before that, it was just mostly-gorillas running around with spears in hand.

Gintoki Sakata: When are they going to run the next Hanger x Hanger? Keeping me in suspense like that! They say "we'll be right back".

Gintoki Sakata: I've been reading Jump for twenty years. So I'll teach you about friendship, diligence and victory.

Hajime Obi: The name's Obi Hajime! If that's a pain to say, call me Obi-One!

Ichigo: How many sets of a hundred pushups are you gonna make me do?!
Kūgo: That was only your fourteenth set. ... Why don't you do one more set to match your name?
Ichigo: You had to say that! I hate those kinds of puns!
Kūgo: Liar. I know you wear a T-shirt that says "15" on it.

Yato: All right! Okay! Fine! Hanki... I release you. Just so you know, as a parting piece of wisdom, it's common courtesy to give a full month's notice before you quit!

Sanji: This is no time to relax and go whale watching! Even if we've escaped the whirlpool, we're still in plenty of danger here! First of all, did anyone get washed away in the current just now? Let's do a head count! Nami!
Nami: Here.
Sanji: Robin!
Robin: I'm here.
Sanji: Okay, next we've gotta get away from here! If any of those huge whales crash into us, the ship will be smashed!
Chopper: Count us, too!
Usopp: Sanji, the other 6 of us are alive!
Sanji: Nami, orders?
Nami: We're fine where we are.
Sanji: You here that? We're fine where we are, you idiots! Now, let's go whale watching!

Kotaro Katsura: I'm not Lupin, I'm Zura. Oops, I mean Katsura.

Vergo: I'll rip everything to pieces... Hm? How weird, I can't find my sword!
Monet: Isn't that because you're not a swordsman?
Vergo: That's right... I'm not a swordsman.

Szef: I always thought there was something uneven between your appearance and working ability! You act like you can easily handle all of your cases! But why are you so useless?

Kotaro Katsura: It's not rap, it's Katsurap, yo.

Bulma: There's no way I'm going by myself, okay? Someone come with me!
Turtle Hermit: Two months round trip, huh? All right, I guess I've got no choice but to go with you.
Bulma: That will just add unnecessary danger!

Beerus: Man, you're useless.
Shen Long: Forgive me... Have you any other wish?
Beerus: Scram. That's my wish.

Kyūbee Yagyū: Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the Life of Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear Balmung Fezalion Issac Schneider 1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish This Is a Different Dogfish, I'm Talking About The Dogfish Shark Kaluga Angler Ray Yuuteimiyaoukimukou Pepepepepepepepepepepepe All's Well That Ends Well Runny Diarrhea.

Gintoki Sakata: Come on, I'm not carrying anything metal. Is it responding to my iron will?

Elizabeth: Man, look at you all whining. That's why you're One Piece Quarter. Actually, it took four years to make 1/4 the amount. So if you want to be number one, you'll have to spend sixteen years preparing.

Zenzo: It's the Jump double issue.
Gintoki: Jump double issue. Eh? Jump double issue?
Zenzo: Jump double issue?
Gintoki: Good grief. There's only one left...
Zenzo: What should we do?
Gintoki: I've already been to seven or eight convenience stores already. Everyone's free during the holiday season, so they are all sold out.
Zenzo: Yeah? Well, I've been to ten convenience stores.
Gintoki: Oh, if I include this one, I've actually been to 15 stores.
Zenzo: Well, my little boy, Hiroshi really wants Jump. Hiroshi is my son and only 5 years old.
Gintoki: My mom really wants it, too. She's sick. I wonder if she'll see it through the year... In fact, I'm sure she won't.
Zenzo: Well, Hiroshi is also going to die.
Gintoki: Hiroshi is going to die?

Negroponte: You are a pretty radical anarchist.
Yang Wen-li: No, but you could say I'm a vegetarian. Although as soon as I look at a delicious meat dish, I break my commandments at once.

Gintoki: I don't wanna do any training. It's such a pain.
Shinpachi: He just said something a JUMP main character would never say! He doesn't have a shred of ambition!

Matsudaira: He's not her boyfriend! I'll never acknowledge a frivolous man like him!
Hijikata: Shut up! I don't acknowledge you as police chief!
Okita: Hijikata, I'll never acknowledge you as vice-chief of the Shinsengumi!

Toshiro Hijikata: If there's something stuck to the bowl... you know how you unconsciously aim at it to shoot it off? We'll use that psychology and make it so they'll aim into the urinal.

Tsukasa: That, and don't forget the sound of the spinning drills! It's so scary!
Konata: But boys might like dentists and stuff, then.
Tsukasa: Why?
Konata: I mean, they say that a drill is like a guy's romantic ideal. I hear they're all about dueling robots that use drills as weapons!