Quotes tagged with "funny" (best), page 3

Kagura: Sounds like Rocky.
Gintoki: She's playing a Rocky-ish theme.
Kagura: It's similar, but...
Gintoki: It's the stuff adults worry about, you know, like getting into trouble if you use the real theme. But why Rocky?!
Gengai: Just hearing it motivates you.

Taniyama Mai: Not only are you good looking, but you're very smart.
Shibuya Kazuya: Do you really think I'm good looking?
Taniyama Mai: Aren't you? Everyone was making a fuss over it.
Shibuya Kazuya: Hm... You don't have bad taste.

Kamogawa: The opponent for your debut match has been selected. Nishikawa Gym's Yusuke Oda!
Takamura: What? Did you say Yusuke Oda?!
Makunouchi: Do you know him, Takamura?!
Takamura: Nope.
Kamogawa: I'd like to tell you the details... but I don't know, either.
Takamura: If you don't know, don't build up the suspense, moron!

Sagaru Yamazaki: How am I supposed to hit on a girl with this hair? I can't play anything beyond a side role in Fist of the North Star.

Konata: Well, even though it's vacation, I'm going to see our teacher almost every day anyway.
Kagami: Why? You have summer classes or something?
Konata: We form parties in our net game and stuff. Our teacher is a wiz and I'm a tank, so when we pair up and I pull stuff, it's pretty good in terms of both xp and money. Though I'm always the busy one, and all our teacher does is click on one of the AoE skills. The other day, I pulled a ton of mobs only to find our teacher had fallen asleep at the keyboard, and it took me all day to earn my death penalty back...

Bluenote Stinger: I asked you already. Where is Mavis's grave?
Wendy Marvell: The grave of the founding Master? It has something to do with the second test?
Happy: I see. I understand!
Carla: I'm sure it's something completely Nidiotic, but I suppose I'll ask anyway...
Happy: You want to become an S class wizard, too!

Bulma: And who are these two?
Vegeta: Th-This is Lord Bills, and...
Whis: My name is Whis.
Bulma: People you know? Hey, I'm Bulma. I'm Vegeta's beautiful wife.
Beerus & Whis: Hello, Bulma.
Bulma: Well, they're certainly more polite than the people you usually hang around. But they don't look like they're from Earth. Aliens... You're aliens!

China: What's your name?
Japan: Hello, China-of-where-the-sun-falls. I am Japan-of-whence-the-sun-rises.
China: You're pretty rude!

Shippo: Now that's more like the Inuyasha I know!
Inuyasha: Whaddya mean?!
Shippo: Inuyasha deep in thought just isn't Inuyasha!
Myōga: He's right! Don't do something you're not used to.

Dende: Um, if we think in the grand scheme of things, all five Saiyans here could be said to have righteous hearts, I think.
Buu: Huh? Even Vegeta?
Vegeta: You're one to talk!

Supreme Kai: It's the power of love. The power of Krillin and No. 18's love won! It's truly your Big Amour! You two are so lovey-dovey I'm jealous! How sweet!
No. 18: I'll kill you.
Supreme Kai: I'm sorry. I got carried away.

Kyūbee Yagyū: Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the Life of Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear Balmung Fezalion Issac Schneider 1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish This Is a Different Dogfish, I'm Talking About The Dogfish Shark Kaluga Angler Ray Yuuteimiyaoukimukou Pepepepepepepepepepepepe All's Well That Ends Well Runny Diarrhea.

Kotaro Katsura: I'm not Lupin, I'm Zura. Oops, I mean Katsura.

Hajime: It'd be a tragedy if we gave them a culture-inspired name, since it'd affect the rest of their life.
Kaoru: Let's name it something that'll go with your family name.
Hajime: If it's a boy, Shinji. A girl, Rei.

Takigawa Hōshō: This camera has had it, hasn't it?
Shibuya Kazuya: Oh, that's okay. It's insured.
Taniyama Mai: Oh, it is? Before, when you told me to be your assistant instead of paying you back for the camera I broke, did that just mean that you simply wanted some more help?
Shibuya Kazuya: You've gotten a little smarter, haven't you?

Takigawa Hōshō: It would seem that the source of the curse was not the spirits of the rokubu, after all.
Shibuya Kazuya: It's Okobu-sama.
Taniyama Mai: How did you know?
Shibuya Kazuya: Because my brain works differently than yours.

Shinpachi Shimura: I can't! I can't do it! I'd be glad if I can do it with a cute girl like her... But I'm still a boy and this time slot is anime time for children. We were already demoted from golden hour. If the PTA sends in a flood of complaints, the show will be canceled!

Tsukasa: That, and don't forget the sound of the spinning drills! It's so scary!
Konata: But boys might like dentists and stuff, then.
Tsukasa: Why?
Konata: I mean, they say that a drill is like a guy's romantic ideal. I hear they're all about dueling robots that use drills as weapons!

Hachiman Hikigaya: The police don't mobilize until after an incident happens, and it's standard for heroes to show up late. But would anyone condemn them for being late? So, speaking paradoxically, lateness is justice...

Gintoki: Scary... Super scary!
Hasegawa: What part of that story made you freak out?!
Gintoki: Toei Animation's gonna kill us!

Piccolo: Five pure-hearted Saiyans? Impossible. Gohan and Goten are the only two like that.
Bulma: How rude of you! Vegeta may be a lost cause, but Trunks certainly has a pure heart!
Piccolo: Someone who has a girlfriend at that age is impure.
Bulma: Whoa! What era do you live in, old man?! Aren't you just being jealous?
Chi-Chi: That's right, Piccolo! Are you saying Goku is impure as well?!
Żółwi Pustelnik: It's true that he's kind, but whether or not a kind idiot who's obsessed with fighting counts as being pure-hearted is debatable.

Matsudaira: He's not her boyfriend! I'll never acknowledge a frivolous man like him!
Hijikata: Shut up! I don't acknowledge you as police chief!
Okita: Hijikata, I'll never acknowledge you as vice-chief of the Shinsengumi!

Yūgo Hachiken: How can I face everyone? I'm basically Tokugawa Hidetada... The man who didn't make it in time to the Battle of Sekigahara.

Yui: Mama was talking about wanting to have many children. So how do you make children?
Asuna: W-Well Yui, to have a child, you have to open the options menu and go to the hidden options, then choose "Ethic Code Off"...
Kirito: Do you realize what you're about to explain!? Listen, Yui. To have a child, you must first get married. This unlocks an event where a stork brings you a baby.
Yui: How did the stork get the baby?
Kirito: The babies are born in cabbage fields. They are spawned from the cabbages.
Yui: So, if I was born in a cabbage field, does that mean I'm the child of a cabbage?
Asuna: Kirito, I knew it. It might be better to tell her the truth.
Kirito: Asuna, please don't overthink this!
Klein: No! The truth is that we are all human cabbages!

Yang Wen-li: Alcohol is humanity's friend. Can I abandon a friend?

Gintoki: I don't wanna do any training. It's such a pain.
Shinpachi: He just said something a JUMP main character would never say! He doesn't have a shred of ambition!

Shinigami: You know nothing about my suffering!
Gintoki: I can pretty much guess. You couldn't learn Bankai or something, right?

Inuyasha: She chose to go home herself! She said, "I'm going back home, stupid!"
Kaede: Inuyasha... Even your imitation of her is stupid.

Tenten: It's pretty obvious we should've taken a left turn at the fork!
Shikamaru: No, if we'd taken a left... We'd have gone past a barbecue place that's out this way, and Choji would've been like...
Chōji: "I'm starving!"
Shikamaru: And he'd make us stop. But as soon as we walked in...
Man: "I'm so sorry. We're out of beef."
Chōji: "No, I've got a craving now!"
Shikamaru: And we'd be off to find a cow out in the mountains...
Chōji: "There's one!"
Neji: "Wait, Choji! That's a female!"
Shikamaru: Then we'd learn it's pregnant. And after its calf was born, Choji would be so moved by the miracle of birth that he'd be like...
Chōji: "I'm gonna live out here and raise cattle."
Shikamaru: He'd quit his life as a ninja to become a farmer.

Ichigo: How many sets of a hundred pushups are you gonna make me do?!
Kūgo: That was only your fourteenth set. ... Why don't you do one more set to match your name?
Ichigo: You had to say that! I hate those kinds of puns!
Kūgo: Liar. I know you wear a T-shirt that says "15" on it.

Myōga: According to rumors, those two brothers devour pretty girls immediately!
Shippō: Is that true?! What'll we do? Does that mean Kagome has already...
Inuyasha: Stupid! What's pretty about Kagome?
Shippō: What?! Are you totally blind?!
Myōga: Yes, I think she's very pretty, too.
Shippō: I'll bet she's already been eaten! It's all my fault!
Myōga: "Pretty woman, short life." What a wise saying.

Olivier Poplin: The entire population of the human race is 40 billion. And half of it is women. Even considering that half of that won't pass the age limit and a further half of that will fail on the account of their looks, there still are 5 billion that are potential targets of my romance. I can't waste even one second.

Gintoki Sakata: Come on, I'm not carrying anything metal. Is it responding to my iron will?

Tsukuyo: Hinowa asked me to teach Seita how to swim. Anyway, I didn't know what to expect from a pool, but it seems to be just like Yoshiwara. Men and women enjoying themselves without any clothes on.

Kagami: There's been more and more spam lately. It's a pain.
Konata: Oh, you should change your text address to something that isn't too obvious. I changed mine too.
Kagami: Something that isn't obvious? Like what?
Konata: My address is iluvgirlsinglasses in English characters. I would have preferred something like "maid", but addresses like maid-san and miko-san are so popular that...

Zenzo: It's the Jump double issue.
Gintoki: Jump double issue. Eh? Jump double issue?
Zenzo: Jump double issue?
Gintoki: Good grief. There's only one left...
Zenzo: What should we do?
Gintoki: I've already been to seven or eight convenience stores already. Everyone's free during the holiday season, so they are all sold out.
Zenzo: Yeah? Well, I've been to ten convenience stores.
Gintoki: Oh, if I include this one, I've actually been to 15 stores.
Zenzo: Well, my little boy, Hiroshi really wants Jump. Hiroshi is my son and only 5 years old.
Gintoki: My mom really wants it, too. She's sick. I wonder if she'll see it through the year... In fact, I'm sure she won't.
Zenzo: Well, Hiroshi is also going to die.
Gintoki: Hiroshi is going to die?

Gintoki Sakata: When are they going to run the next Hanger x Hanger? Keeping me in suspense like that! They say "we'll be right back".

Kūgo: Ever fantasize about being inside a game?
Ichigo: What're you talking about?
Kūgo: Admit it. Every kid's thought about it. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
Ichigo: I can't say I never thought about it, but...
Kūgo: Is that so? I've never wanted to, not even once.

Miroku: We don't need payment for this. We just ask for lodgings, food and women.

Kagami: S'up? How's your exam studies going?
Konata: I was just cleaning up my room right now.