Quotes tagged with "funny" (best), page 2

Shinigami: Since I'm wearing a mask, Justin can't read my lips, can he? Can you repeat what I say from now on, please?
Spirit: Why do I have to do something so troublesome? It's fine if he takes the earphones off, right?
Shinigami: Okay! Repeat after me!

Mjolnir Marie: I'm... going to marry the toilet. Don't you see? The toilet will accept anything I do!

Kyōsuke Kōsaka: So, when you're dating a girl, um... Starting when is it okay to touch her boobs?

Sakamichi Onoda: I'm going on my bike! Because... Because... on a bike... I can go to Akiba for free. I can buy five extra capsule toys with the money I save!

Yūko: You saw everything... You saw the innermost places of my body...
Teiichi: Embarrassing? Aren't these just bones?
Yūko: This is the ultimate state of nakedness!

Mashiro: Why did you give me milk instead of tea? Are you looking down on me because I'm a child?
Kobeni: I just thought it would be better than tea or coffee. You don't like it?
Mashiro: No, it's my favorite!

Kuroneko: Do you want to touch them?
Kyōsuke: Well...
Kuroneko: I see... I'm not mad... much... Because... I'm the same.
Kyōsuke: You want to touch my boobs, too?

Saitama: Genos, your joints are all bent the wrong way. Here, I'll fix you up. Oh sorry, your arm came off.

Aoi Ashito: I don't need tactics. Or rather, I am the tactic.

Kaguya: This is Shinomiya. President, is that you?
Shirogane's father: I'm Miyuki's father.
Kaguya: Um, is the president... I mean, is Shirogane there?
Shirogane's father: I am Shirogane.

Akihito: How long have you been there?
Mitsuki: Since you said, "I store glasses worn by high school girls in vinyl bags. I huff the air outta them like an addict."
Akihito: I said no such thing!

Ranma Saotome: By the way... You took a pretty good look at me, too. Besides, it's no big deal for me to see a naked girl. I mean, I've seen myself plenty of times, right? And I'm built better, to boot!

Ito: What is that?
Mikatan: Isn't it obvious? It's Yakushimaru Ritsuko. Oh, I mean, a Christmas tree.
Yuta: How do you make that mistake?

Ikuya Ogura: Can't believe we've got all these Ajin in one spot. It's like my own personal harem.

Saitou Ena: Shima Rin in Shimane, camping on Izu Oshima. It's a Shima Shima Shima camp trip.

Ohgaki Chiaki: Nothing beats camping while other people are working... I'm gonna send them pics as soon as we get to the campsite!

Vanessa Enoteca: If we get out of this alive, I'll give you a hug. You can cry all you want right into my bosom.

Carla: Go to sleep... Go to sleep... Listen to my calming song... and sleep... Then fall into the abyss of endless fear, be tormented by nightmares, never waking, as you writhe in agony...
Alvin: Is this a curse?!
Carla: How rude! That song was guaranteed to put you in a slumber!
Alvin: An eternal slumber, maybe!

Asta: You can't eat tatoes without any money!
Noelle: If you don't have any tatoes, why don't you just eat steak?

Carla: Isn't this nice, Alvin-san? I'll bet the traps are so happy that you're springing them all!
Alvin: Don't anthropomorphize the traps!
Carla: Traps exist to be sprung! From their point of view, you're the ideal adventurer!
Alvin: I don't want to be the traps' ideal!

Carla: I think you really have what it takes! Are you light-element affiliated? O Warrior of Light! O Holy Knight!
Alvin: Hey, lay off...
Carla: O Circus Performer?

Avan: What is it, Dai?
Dai: That last one, the Air Slash, I don't get it.
Popp: Oh come on. Master's explained it a ton of times.
Dai: Then did you understand it?
Popp: I'm a Mage, so I don't have to.

Suzu: Kamishin is incredible. He started the canoe club.
Hiroka: And he's the only member.

Kagami: S'up? How's your exam studies going?
Konata: I was just cleaning up my room right now.

Myōga: According to rumors, those two brothers devour pretty girls immediately!
Shippō: Is that true?! What'll we do? Does that mean Kagome has already...
Inuyasha: Stupid! What's pretty about Kagome?
Shippō: What?! Are you totally blind?!
Myōga: Yes, I think she's very pretty, too.
Shippō: I'll bet she's already been eaten! It's all my fault!
Myōga: "Pretty woman, short life." What a wise saying.

Kagami: Did you tell a lie to someone today, Tsukasa?
Tsukasa: Yeah.
Kagami: That's unusual. What kind of lie?
Tsukasa: Just now, when I said I told a lie, that was a lie.

Chichi: What's happened, Goku? You only ate half of what you usually eat!
Goten: Father, is something wrong?
Goku: I just don't have an appetite.
Chichi: Do you have a fever?
Goku: I don't have a fever.
Chichi: Then, are you gonna die?
Goku: I've died about two times already but this time doesn't feel like dying.

Koyume: I really learned a lot! It was scary but I feel like something's opened up for me a bit more.
Ruki: Really?
Koyume: For example... I feel the same satisfaction I would if I just finished shoveling snow!

Miyako: Norippe, did you buy your computer at an electronics store? Was it expensive?
Nori: I dunno. I'm not sure how much it cost, my uncle built it for me as a gift for starting high school.
Yuno: Your uncle...
Miyako: ...made it?
Yuno: Nori, is your uncle Mr. Gates?

Matsutarō: Where's the salt? The salt I'm supposed to throw.
Sędzia: Salt is for ranks juryo and up.
Matsutarō: Oh, it is? I'll settle for sugar, then.

German teacher: It can't be helped. I'll give you a freebie. I covered this in class. Translate what I'm about to say into German and write it on the back. Question 1: "Rheumatoid arthritis." Question 2: "A man holding a banana while naked." The last question: "James Thomas."

Kaguya: Hayasaka! Come quick!
Hayasaka: What is it?
Kaguya: The Internet is broken!

Kenji: Did you get a good look at his braking drift, Iketani?
Iketani: Not really... no idea...
Kenji: So much for begging him to show you how.
Iketani: Yeah, but he made it look so simple that I realized... I'm not even close to understanding his technique! I feel like a better racer already!

Boruto: I'm not gonna let Shino Sensei live the rest of his life in obscurity, even though he doesn't stand out.
Metal: That's my line, Boruto! No longer will I allow my unnoticeable papa remain unnoticed!
Shikadai: Aren't you guys kinda dissing them?

Seseri: The hell is this?! We have all these fines for unauthorized magic use, under magic-prohibition, article 10, Cecil-kun!
Cecil: You could buy an expensive car, huh?

Urameshi Yusuke: Yama-sama, huh? I doubt I could beat him in a fight... No, hold on! Before he conks me, I'll surprise him with a head-butt! Then, while he's stunned, I'll slide around behind him, and blind him! After which, if I can squeeze his balls, it'd be perfect!

Mr. Cat: All right, quiet now. If you do not quiet down, I will have you marry me.

Boruto: Where's Shinki?
Kankuro: I sent him to refill our water.
Boruto: Oh...I didn't know he drank water.
Kankuro: Of course, he does! He's someone's child.

Yuuna: Could it be that these little things are the monster tentacles from yesterday? A cute little thing like this will eventually turn into a monster like that.
Kogarashi: Nah, these are normal spotted garden eels.

Cosette: You've got little critters scuttling around having a party.
Takt: Leave them be. They may look unpleasant, but at least they don't get in the way of my piano playing. Unlike someone else I know.