Quotes tagged with "funny" (best)

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Kuroneko: Do you want to touch them?
Kyōsuke: Well...
Kuroneko: I see... I'm not mad... much... Because... I'm the same.
Kyōsuke: You want to touch my boobs, too?
Mjolnir Marie: I'm... going to marry the toilet. Don't you see? The toilet will accept anything I do!
Kagura: Might as well skip the effort and reuse footage for the movie itself. Toss in a few new scenes and you'll fool them all.
Shinpachi: That won't work!
Gintoki: Really? Most of Sunrise's movies are recompilations.
Excalibur: Number 75: Excalibur's birthday is to be celebrated grandly.
Hiro: When's your birthday?
Excalibur: Everyday!
Shinigami: Since I'm wearing a mask, Justin can't read my lips, can he? Can you repeat what I say from now on, please?
Spirit: Why do I have to do something so troublesome? It's fine if he takes the earphones off, right?
Shinigami: Okay! Repeat after me!
Bulma: If you're a god, don't get mad over a little pudding, idiot!
Shinpachi: Uh, Gin? What was that about? How could you screw up the end of the opening sequence?
Gintoki: Don't blame me. There's bound to be a mishap when you do the same thing 23 times in a row.
Kagura: I thought the opening was reused every time.
Sakamichi Onoda: I'm going on my bike! Because... Because... on a bike... I can go to Akiba for free. I can buy five extra capsule toys with the money I save!
Yūko: You saw everything... You saw the innermost places of my body...
Teiichi: Embarrassing? Aren't these just bones?
Yūko: This is the ultimate state of nakedness!
Mai: The man whose face strikes fear in the hearts of even the worst evildoers!
Shu: Robbery! Tattle-telling! Speeding! Blackmail! Stealing other people's food!
Mai: He'll do anything if it's for money!
Shu: His name: Mister Pilaf Daimao!
Son Gokū: Man, you're just as stubborn as Vegeta!
Saitama: Genos, your joints are all bent the wrong way. Here, I'll fix you up. Oh sorry, your arm came off.
Komui Lee: It wasn't Komurin's fault. It was the coffee. Hate the sin, not the sinner. Hate the coffee not the Komurin
Master Roshi: A couple billion Zeni...?! Even if I went to a strip club everyday, I wonder just how many years it would take to use it all up...
Bulma: Where did you go?
Son Gokū: Rabbits belong on the moon, of course!
Japan: They say Italian tanks can advance sixty kilometers a week on the battlefield, but after spotting English troops, they can retreat sixty kilometers in a single day.
Asta: You can't eat tatoes without any money!
Noelle: If you don't have any tatoes, why don't you just eat steak?
Vanessa Enoteca: If we get out of this alive, I'll give you a hug. You can cry all you want right into my bosom.
To Finral.
Mashiro: Why did you give me milk instead of tea? Are you looking down on me because I'm a child?
Kobeni: I just thought it would be better than tea or coffee. You don't like it?
Mashiro: No, it's my favorite!
Avan: What is it, Dai?
Dai: That last one, the Air Slash, I don't get it.
Popp: Oh come on. Master's explained it a ton of times.
Dai: Then did you understand it?
Popp: I'm a Mage, so I don't have to.
Kaguya: This is Shinomiya. President, is that you?
Shirogane's father: I'm Miyuki's father.
Kaguya: Um, is the president... I mean, is Shirogane there?
Shirogane's father: I am Shirogane.
Gildarts: Wait a second! You're...
Cana: I know it's a lot to just accept...
Gildarts: Whose kid are you? Sara? Naomi? Claire? Feena? Mary? Eliza? No, no... The hair color's off... Emma, Lyra, Jean, Sydney, Kate, Yuko, Francoise...
Cana: You old geezer! How many flings have you had?!
Gildarts: I-I know! You're the spitting image of Sylvia! Like, you're the same sex!
Takagi: Are you saying I have no sense for writing gags?
Kaya: Hm... Well, your face is kinda funny.
Kyōsuke Kōsaka: So, when you're dating a girl, um... Starting when is it okay to touch her boobs?
Rito: So, you just happened to smack into her and ended up possessing her?! Sairenji, that is?!
Oshizu: Yep! ... But I think staying here any longer would be a problem for Haruna-san, so it's about time for me to head back to the old schoolhouse!
Rito: Oh, uh... Yeah.
Oshizu: Umm... How do I do that, I wonder...?
Iron Man: You're pretty well-informed! How 'bout we change your name to the Silver Paparazzi?
To Silver Samurai.
Cherry: What kind of work do you want?
Ataru: I won't ask for much, just ¥10,000 an hour, lots of fun, and something not tiring with lots of pretty girls. The location should be nearby, with meals included, and no overtime. Breaks should last about 2 hours. Afternoon tea is a given, and I can work any hours I like. And as a small request I'd like a paid vacation and family allowance, and housing allowance. And I'd like a bonus!
Mikan: And there was that one day it snowed a bunch, and we made a snowman here.
Rito: Oh, heah, we did! Although he wasn't exactly the most handsome snowman ever!
Mikan: Yeah, your taste... or lack thereof... really shone through!
Iron Man: A rock-n'-roller once said this: "A heavy life breeds heavy music." But Tony Stark says this: "A heavy armor breeds a heavy hitter." I'll teach you that now. It's time to rock!
Beerus: His singing and dancing were both terrible. He'd be a fair match for you, Whis.
Kotegawa: I'll let you off the hook this time. Because I'm just feeling happy for some reason...
Rito: Kotegawa... I guess you can laugh...
Kotegawa: Well I never! How rude!!
Saruyama Kenichi: Checking out boobs is what it means to be young! Boobs are our hopes! Boobs are our dreams!! Living by, for, and because of boobs is what it means to be a man in this journey called life! It's a truth that stretches across the very cosmos!!
Yami: I'd like you to treat me to some taiyaki.
Rito: Yami...
Yami: About fifty of them...
Piccolo: Five pure-hearted Saiyans? Impossible. Gohan and Goten are the only two like that.
Bulma: How rude of you! Vegeta may be a lost cause, but Trunks certainly has a pure heart!
Piccolo: Someone who has a girlfriend at that age is impure.
Bulma: Whoa! What era do you live in, old man?! Aren't you just being jealous?
Chi-Chi: That's right, Piccolo! Are you saying Goku is impure as well?!
Żółwi Pustelnik: It's true that he's kind, but whether or not a kind idiot who's obsessed with fighting counts as being pure-hearted is debatable.
Tenten: They're revolting...
Lee: Leave them to me. I am the Guykage's right hand man. I can quell this little rebellion. Everyone, please calm down. Let's talk this out..
Tenten: Wow, Lee's actually being serious.
Lee: ...with our fists!
Tenten: It's pretty obvious we should've taken a left turn at the fork!
Shikamaru: No, if we'd taken a left... We'd have gone past a barbecue place that's out this way, and Choji would've been like...
Chōji: "I'm starving!"
Shikamaru: And he'd make us stop. But as soon as we walked in...
Man: "I'm so sorry. We're out of beef."
Chōji: "No, I've got a craving now!"
Shikamaru: And we'd be off to find a cow out in the mountains...
Chōji: "There's one!"
Neji: "Wait, Choji! That's a female!"
Shikamaru: Then we'd learn it's pregnant. And after its calf was born, Choji would be so moved by the miracle of birth that he'd be like...
Chōji: "I'm gonna live out here and raise cattle."
Shikamaru: He'd quit his life as a ninja to become a farmer.
Elizabeth: Man, look at you all whining. That's why you're One Piece Quarter. Actually, it took four years to make 1/4 the amount. So if you want to be number one, you'll have to spend sixteen years preparing.
Nana: Guess that leaves us with no choice. Tell me about your person. I'll help you look for them.
Maron: Really? Man, you're gonna make a good wife someday, little miss. In that case... my person's got a mellow, heart-soothing fragrance...
Kagami: Did you tell a lie to someone today, Tsukasa?
Tsukasa: Yeah.
Kagami: That's unusual. What kind of lie?
Tsukasa: Just now, when I said I told a lie, that was a lie.
Tsukuyo: Hinowa asked me to teach Seita how to swim. Anyway, I didn't know what to expect from a pool, but it seems to be just like Yoshiwara. Men and women enjoying themselves without any clothes on.

Quotes found: 233