Quotes tagged with "funny" (best)

Nazuna: Humans can only create offspring through copulation.
Ko: Don't say "copulate"!
Nazuna: What's the matter? How old are you?
Ko: I'm fourteen...
Nazuna: What?! You're still a little punk! At fourteen, you should be all over talk about copulation and stuff. What's wrong with you?

Yomi Isayama: To a big sister, a little sister is the same as a lackey!

Ishino: Why did you act like you had to work up so much courage just to kiss me, huh?
Takanashi: Because I felt like I was opening a door to a frightening world.

Akihito Kanbara: A girl without glasses is like a shortcake without strawberries!

Master Roshi: A couple billion Zeni...?! Even if I went to a strip club everyday, I wonder just how many years it would take to use it all up...

Bulma: If you're a god, don't get mad over a little pudding, idiot!

Son Gokū: Man, you're just as stubborn as Vegeta!

Japan: They say Italian tanks can advance sixty kilometers a week on the battlefield, but after spotting English troops, they can retreat sixty kilometers in a single day.

Bulma: Where did you go?
Son Gokū: Rabbits belong on the moon, of course!

Shinpachi: Uh, Gin? What was that about? How could you screw up the end of the opening sequence?
Gintoki: Don't blame me. There's bound to be a mishap when you do the same thing 23 times in a row.
Kagura: I thought the opening was reused every time.

Excalibur: Number 75: Excalibur's birthday is to be celebrated grandly.
Hiro: When's your birthday?
Excalibur: Everyday!

Gildarts: Wait a second! You're...
Cana: I know it's a lot to just accept...
Gildarts: Whose kid are you? Sara? Naomi? Claire? Feena? Mary? Eliza? No, no... The hair color's off... Emma, Lyra, Jean, Sydney, Kate, Yuko, Francoise...
Cana: You old geezer! How many flings have you had?!
Gildarts: I-I know! You're the spitting image of Sylvia! Like, you're the same sex!

Mai: The man whose face strikes fear in the hearts of even the worst evildoers!
Shu: Robbery! Tattle-telling! Speeding! Blackmail! Stealing other people's food!
Mai: He'll do anything if it's for money!
Shu: His name: Mister Pilaf Daimao!

Takagi: Are you saying I have no sense for writing gags?
Kaya: Hm... Well, your face is kinda funny.

Kagura: Might as well skip the effort and reuse footage for the movie itself. Toss in a few new scenes and you'll fool them all.
Shinpachi: That won't work!
Gintoki: Really? Most of Sunrise's movies are recompilations.

Komui Lee: It wasn't Komurin's fault. It was the coffee. Hate the sin, not the sinner. Hate the coffee not the Komurin

Mjolnir Marie: I'm... going to marry the toilet. Don't you see? The toilet will accept anything I do!

Shinigami: Since I'm wearing a mask, Justin can't read my lips, can he? Can you repeat what I say from now on, please?
Spirit: Why do I have to do something so troublesome? It's fine if he takes the earphones off, right?
Shinigami: Okay! Repeat after me!

Mashiro: Why did you give me milk instead of tea? Are you looking down on me because I'm a child?
Kobeni: I just thought it would be better than tea or coffee. You don't like it?
Mashiro: No, it's my favorite!

Yūko: You saw everything... You saw the innermost places of my body...
Teiichi: Embarrassing? Aren't these just bones?
Yūko: This is the ultimate state of nakedness!

Kyōsuke Kōsaka: So, when you're dating a girl, um... Starting when is it okay to touch her boobs?

Sakamichi Onoda: I'm going on my bike! Because... Because... on a bike... I can go to Akiba for free. I can buy five extra capsule toys with the money I save!

Saitama: Genos, your joints are all bent the wrong way. Here, I'll fix you up. Oh sorry, your arm came off.

Kuroneko: Do you want to touch them?
Kyōsuke: Well...
Kuroneko: I see... I'm not mad... much... Because... I'm the same.
Kyōsuke: You want to touch my boobs, too?

Kaguya: This is Shinomiya. President, is that you?
Shirogane's father: I'm Miyuki's father.
Kaguya: Um, is the president... I mean, is Shirogane there?
Shirogane's father: I am Shirogane.

Aoi Ashito: I don't need tactics. Or rather, I am the tactic.

Ranma Saotome: By the way... You took a pretty good look at me, too. Besides, it's no big deal for me to see a naked girl. I mean, I've seen myself plenty of times, right? And I'm built better, to boot!

Akihito: How long have you been there?
Mitsuki: Since you said, "I store glasses worn by high school girls in vinyl bags. I huff the air outta them like an addict."
Akihito: I said no such thing!

Ito: What is that?
Mikatan: Isn't it obvious? It's Yakushimaru Ritsuko. Oh, I mean, a Christmas tree.
Yuta: How do you make that mistake?

Asta: You can't eat tatoes without any money!
Noelle: If you don't have any tatoes, why don't you just eat steak?

Vanessa Enoteca: If we get out of this alive, I'll give you a hug. You can cry all you want right into my bosom.

Ikuya Ogura: Can't believe we've got all these Ajin in one spot. It's like my own personal harem.

Carla: Go to sleep... Go to sleep... Listen to my calming song... and sleep... Then fall into the abyss of endless fear, be tormented by nightmares, never waking, as you writhe in agony...
Alvin: Is this a curse?!
Carla: How rude! That song was guaranteed to put you in a slumber!
Alvin: An eternal slumber, maybe!

Ohgaki Chiaki: Nothing beats camping while other people are working... I'm gonna send them pics as soon as we get to the campsite!

Saitou Ena: Shima Rin in Shimane, camping on Izu Oshima. It's a Shima Shima Shima camp trip.

Carla: I think you really have what it takes! Are you light-element affiliated? O Warrior of Light! O Holy Knight!
Alvin: Hey, lay off...
Carla: O Circus Performer?

Carla: Isn't this nice, Alvin-san? I'll bet the traps are so happy that you're springing them all!
Alvin: Don't anthropomorphize the traps!
Carla: Traps exist to be sprung! From their point of view, you're the ideal adventurer!
Alvin: I don't want to be the traps' ideal!

Suzu: Kamishin is incredible. He started the canoe club.
Hiroka: And he's the only member.

Alvin: Just so you know, my adventurer rank isn't very high. So don't get your hopes up!
Carla: Don't worry! My hopes were low from the start!

Avan: What is it, Dai?
Dai: That last one, the Air Slash, I don't get it.
Popp: Oh come on. Master's explained it a ton of times.
Dai: Then did you understand it?
Popp: I'm a Mage, so I don't have to.